Growing Up

When I was growing up, my mom liked to introduce me as “Her, ONLY, Daughter.”   After having three boys in four years, she FINALLY had a girl.  From a young age I felt every bit of those expectations, including the idea that my voice should be less than. 

I both resisted and gravitated toward my mother’s expectations because I was extremely sensitive and picked up on others’ emotional frequencies the way a transistor radio picks up stations.  I was also fiery, passionate and intensely curious.

In school, I channeled my voice into performing academically. When I became a lawyer, I channeled my voice into defending the underdog.

By far, my hardest fought battles were my own internal rumbles about how and when to use my voice while navigating numerous personal identity changes from single mom, to step mom and lawyer to coach.

My Introduction to Astrology

All that changed, when I had my astrological birth chart read after attending an astrology lecture a few weeks prior. When I heard the words, “You have one of the most intense charts I’ve ever seen,” I felt like I had finally been seen for the first time.   While I had been called intense before, no one could ever fully explain “why” I experienced life so intensely. Or why finding my “true” voice felt so elusive.

I mean sure, I’m a Scorpio sun sign with Aries rising. The result is a relentless need for forward movement and deeply transformative experiences.  Mix in an abundance of perfectionism energy and this hard wiring had created an intense experience of life that felt more like a struggle than a source of nourishment. 

For the next hour I listened intently as the astrologer affirmed the truth of who I was in a way that decades of consistent and intense personal growth work had not. 

 For the first time I was shown a picture of my life experience, my “soul path” as I now call it.  The intensity was due to the sheer number of squares and oppositions.  Together they are known in astrology as “difficult” or teaching aspects because of their potential for greatly expanding our consciousness.  It all began to make sense.

Finding My Voice Through My Chart

Over the next year I immersed myself in astrology and allowed my intuition to guide me.  Slowly, the tapestry that was the story of my life began to reveal itself to me in a new way.  By studying the overall position and pattern of the planets I saw mirrored back at me so much of the struggles that had played themselves out in real life. 

 Saturn opposed nearly every single one of my personal planets. Saturn’s energy teaches us about responsibility and restriction and can often lead to harsh self-criticism and doubt.

 There was the painful opposition between loyalty to the self, represented by the First House, and loyalty to others, represented by the Seventh House of relationships.   Having 3 out of 4 of my personal planets in the Seventh House further magnified this tension. I was here, for better or worse, to learn about myself through relationship with others.

 Then there was my emotional sensitivity, heightened sense of self-criticism and fear of abandonment crisply confirmed by the retrograde position of Venus, Saturn and Chiron. Retrograde personal planets mean that we turn the energy of the planet inwards.  This was another piece of the puzzle as to why most of my life had felt like a struggle in which I constantly doubted myself. I was buoyed by this new knowledge.

 Even more significantly than showing me my past, my chart offered me a way forward.   The invitation from my North Node—my karmic or soul purpose, was perhaps the most tantalizing.  

 I was here to learn to go with the flow, to surrender to life and finally stop ignoring the whispering that had been speaking to me softly for years about being a teacher and a healer for women.  Trust me when I say the lawyer in me was not immediately convinced of this argument. I would need a bit more struggle before I surrendered.

We all have a soul path that can guide us to our truth and our voice and ultimately our power. Astrology can be a powerful tool for getting to know ourselves intimately.

 It can also open the heavy swinging door to self- compassion that as women we all too frequently slam shut when self-doubt or our inner critic take over. And when we love ourselves unconditionally  life feels magical and there’s nothing we can’t accomplish.

Are you curious about what your soul path might reveal to you about your deepest struggles and your greatest opportunities for self-mastery?  

Are you looking for a new way to access your truth and your voice and your power, while coming to a deeper level of self-acceptance?

There is so much power in self-knowledge.

 I can help you access your unique path to living your purpose and connecting with your innate power.

 If you’re interested in learning more about how I can help then click here to schedule either a 1 hour Soul Path Reading or to schedule a free mini session to learn more about how I coach my clients to find their truth and access their innate power.